In Montana, Where Your Web Page is Free

Having recently drove through a large portion of western Montana, here's what I can say about it. Montana is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to Montana. Seriously, though, Montana is a lot of big and wide open country. In fact, the wildlife in the area probably outnumbers the humans by 2 to 1. You can drive for hours and not drive through a single town of any significant size. Not to mention being able to drive 150 miles or more and not once see the Golden Arches. Or a cop. Or anyone for that matter. No wonder there's no speed limits in Montana: there ain't anyone around!

The only reason we ventured into the back country of Montana was because a friend of ours was getting married in Glacier National Park. So we packed up the CR-V and drove. Once we got out of Coeur D'Alene, Idaho, there wasn't much of anything. Miles and miles and miles of nothing. Lots of trees, hills, and mountains. But lots of nothing. In fact, the only real city we went through was Kalispell, which is where we were to meet our friends for lunch at a rather dimly lit saloon with sawdust on the floor and video gambling machines in the corner. A rather interesting slice of life, but they supposedly made the best pizza around. I'm sorry, but if I'm going to eat kraut, I'll eat it on hot dogs -- not pizza.

Once we were done with lunch, it was off to the Many Glacier Hotel. It was another three hours away. Instead of going around the park, we decided it would be best to drive through the park. Let me tell you, there are some gorgeous sites on the "Going to the Sun Road," but if you're scared of heights and narrow, winding roads, this isn't the road for you. I'm not typically scared of heights, but the short, rock walls between us and several thousand foot drops were of little comfort as we inched are way up the road.

Once we make it across the park, it's another 10 miles up Hwy 93 and another several miles back into the park. Along the way, we saw several people off to the side of the road. We pull off to see what the commotion was. Everyone was watching a bear with her cubs far off in the distance. The park rangers were around to make sure nobody got too close to the bears, but most everyone stayed on the road. Everyone was trying their best to take pictures. We even got a couple of pictures, but the bears are "dots" in the distance.

After coming as close as I wanted to becoming bear food, we finally made it to the hotel. It's an old, rustic sort of hotel. No elevators. No TV. Tiny bathrooms. Twin beds. The walls were thin like the dorm rooms in college. And given we'd been driving all day, we were looking forward to a little quiet time. But without a TV, there's not a lot to do except read. Planning ahead, we bought some books in Kalispell at their concept of a shopping mall. I picked up Idoru, by William Gibson (yes, the guy who wrote Neuromancer). We both started reading our books and dozed off. We slept past the time the dining hall served dinner. Damn. Fortunately, the bar was open and was still serving food. We both ordered drinks and chicken quesadillas. Best quesadilla I ever ate. Good beer, too.

You know you're in the boonies when:

When we awoke the following morning, it was cloudy, cold, and raining. Damn. They were supposed to have their wedding outside. Not sure that was gonna happen. But it stopped raining long enough for the hotel staff to move all the stuff outside and have the wedding. It didn't rain on us, but it certainly threatened to. But they couldn't have picked a better place to have the wedding. The scenery all around was just spectacular. The fog and clouds rolled over the mountains in the background. Some of the mountain tops were not visible from the cloud cover. The ones that were were just spectacular. Most of them had a tinge of purple to them. Probably not true purple, but close enough to make me think of the "purple mountain majesties" in "America the Beautiful."

When we drove back to Spokane the following day, we decided not to go through the park, but go around it on Hwy 93. There was a lot of nothing between there and Kalispell. For a while, we had even more country radio stations and nothing else. But there was lots of wide open country before our eyes and, at least in August, most of it is beautiful.

The big thing I got out of my trip to Montana was that, while many people choose to live in over-crowded cities, there is a lot of untouched beauty still left on Planet Earth and even though none of my technology worked there, within my lifetime, we'll be able to live anywhere and still be connected to people.


Should you want to send me anything, the email address is phoneboy@phoneboy.com.

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Last Updated: 15 September 1998