Throughout a good deal of high school and college, I didn't like interacting
with most people -- mostly because I had so many problems doing so. This
lead me to
lead a very introverted lifestyle. But, like any normal numan being,
I craved human contact. The computer and the online world it allowed me
to access was a 'haven"
for me because it gave me the benefits of "real, live" people without
the problems "real, live" people caused me.
When I lived with my parents, they didn't quite understand why I wanted
to "hack on the computer" instead of going out with them to the beach or
doing some other
"family" activity. My college roommates often went out and partied
on a Saturday night while I stayed home and got on the Internet to chat
or download the latest
version of some obscure utility to make my computer do something differently.
Once I was able to afford living on my own and come to terms with who
I was, I lived the solitary geek lifestyle as a matter of personal choice.
Until then, I pretty
much had to live with either my parents or roommates until I graduated
college. So I had a sort of "uneasy" understanding with my parents and
my college
roommates -- I did my thing, they did theirs, and we tried not to get
in each others way.
The dynamics and agreements are different when the person you live with
is your significant other. We've written out an agreement on things we
need to do regularly
like keeping house and cooking, but the agreement doesn't govern the
"other" things we do together. Solitary activities like geeking don't count
as "spending time
together," though we do get on IRC together and talk to some mutual
friends. But we have to spend time together and do "other" things together.
And any time
I spend too much time geeking, I feel guilty because I want to make
sure I'm spending enough time with my significant other. Sometimes I have
to supress my natural
desire to geek. And sometimes, when the girlfriend is away, I let that
desire flourish.
In general, I think it's important to make sure you always keep it all
in balance. Yeah, it's fun to geek, but there are other things in life
besides computers. There are
needs and desires away from computers, and there are people in your
life who want to see you and spend time with you. There's a real world
out there waiting to be
explored. Don't forget to take the time to smell the roses every once
in a while.